


Rapturous

by Infinity (malecfeels)



Series: Ever Mine [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, BDSM, BDSM Scenes, Bottom Magnus, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub, Dominant Alec Lightwood, Falling In Love, Full Consent, M/M, Malec, Malec AU, Misunderstandings, Past, Punishments, Submissive Magnus Bane, Top Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 03:05:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11819934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecfeels/pseuds/Infinity
Summary: “You are Robert Lightwood’s son.”“Magnus…”“Don’t! Don’t come near me, you bastard.”"What are you talking about?"“I should have known the first time you told me your name. I should have known the first time I saw you.”...Magnus and Alec deal with a blast from the past.ANGST





	Rapturous

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooo  
> Back with the next part. As all of my writings, this turned out to be completely different than what I had in mind too. I swear, my fingers have their own thing going on.  
> This digs deeper into the plot and their relationship. Its a setting for the later plot AND Alec's past. Not everything but its a start.  
> I don't want to write something that you guys would already anticipate. I just don't want it to follow the same pattern of big misunderstandings and one following the other and kissing and making up. There is no problem in that of course. It has its own beauty. But I am trying to take this story somewhere else and I hope you like whatever it is. Not that I can surprise you either. You guys are a tough bunch ;)
> 
> Updates from now on will be a little slower. I have my main assignments coming up and as much as I love to write this, I can't abandon them. But still I will do my best.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support. Its truly incredible. I only wish I am doing justice to the story and y'all. Keep 'em coming <3

**Rapturous**

Alec was pretty sure he would be considered a creep if he were caught like this. He knew that he should get up and go away. He shouldn’t do this.

But Magnus’ peaceful face as he slept tugged something deep inside him and he couldn’t move his eyes away. It was mesmerizing in a way he couldn’t explain.

So he sat on the corner of the bed and he let himself do this one little thing.

It helped him not think about the emotions raging in him. It helped him feel as peaceful as Magnus did at the moment. Because if he moved, all the thoughts would creep in and he wasn’t sure how he was going to handle them.

Alec had no trouble with his emotions or feelings. Not until he met Magnus.

And after what happened yesterday, Alec was finding it harder to control them. Control himself.

He stilled as Magnus shifted a little, his face scrunching up into a small frown before quickly smoothing out. In his movement, the sheet dropped down and he could see the dark marks on his neck.

_His marks._

The thought sent something primal through him.

Alec knew the power that came with being a dominant like him. The rush he felt knowing that he had the control. There was nothing quite like it. Up until the moment he met Magnus, he didn’t realize how much _more_ it could be. How utterly overwhelming it could be.

And last night had been…

Alec was still trying to come to grip with everything that was Magnus. And after the night he had spent with the man, hell every moment he had spent with him was something that was out of his control. And he didn’t deal well with losing control.

Magnus shifted again, eyes fluttering a little. Alec froze, caught between running away and wanting to see his eyes flutter open to see him. But Magnus just drifted off again. He was a restless sleeper, a fact Alec knew now because he had spent the night on the bed beside him. Something that he wasn’t ready to face yet.

Magnus had kept a steady grip on his wrist despite being sound asleep. Alec would have been able to tug it free if he had _tried_. But his face had looked captivating just like it did now, so peaceful and sated. The knowledge that he was the one who had brought it on had been exhilarating and he had spent better part of the night just gazing at him silently.

Alec shook his head, running a hand through his untidy hair. He was still grimy and dirty from last night’s events. He hadn’t gotten a chance to clean himself up last night and he had been pleasantly distracted after he had woken up. Sighing he looked away from Magnus’ sleeping face and got up. He had to move sometime. He had already slept in late, almost through the night without his regular nightmares. For the first time in so many years he had felt a certain kind of calm while sleeping.

He stepped into the shower and let himself spend a little more time than usual. Bathing was never a comfort, just a necessity. But his body was sore, different than when he was out on cases, and the warm water was soothing and pleasant. Maybe he could indulge in it a little longer. It certainly kept his surging thoughts at bay.

After the bath, Alec made his way towards the kitchen, wiping his hair off with the towel. Magnus was still sleeping soundly and he knew he would be for a while. The familiar guilt shot through him as his thoughts drifted to the almost disaster that had occurred last night. The sub drop that Magnus had experienced and would still feel its remnants for the day.

Alec was not forgetting that for a very long time. He couldn’t believe he had let his emotions get the better of him. He hadn’t seen what he had done to Magnus and it had almost been too late. He knew from experience that these kind of drops were dangerous at times. It could emotionally drain a person and he had a few bad close calls with his earlier submissives. But nothing had prepared him to watch Magnus go through that. It had broken something inside of him to see his confident easy demeanor fade into the sobbing desperate mess he had been. He knew from that first night he had spent with him that he couldn’t bear to see him hurt. He should have known he would be the one to hurt him.

Alec sighed, trying to banish the creeping thoughts. He had already spent half the night berating himself about it. He couldn’t let himself get swept by the guilt again. He had taken care of Magnus last night. And he would continue to do so. He could wallow in self-pity later.

He spread the towel on a chair outside and started working on making breakfast. This was routine. It had been before he had met Magnus and he had been surprised by how easily he had accommodated him into his morning routine. He had never felt the inclination to do the same with his other partners. But with Magnus everything was different. Just like him.

He had barely started with the eggs when the doorbell rang. It took a second for Alec to realize the sound for what it was. He immediately froze with the bowl in his hand. He wasn’t expecting anyone. He never expected anyone at this hour of the day. Alec had a strict policy of dealing with his work at the office and everyone who knew him knew that no one was welcome at his house. Even emergencies were first cleared with on phone which he kept on him at all times.

A terrible thought struck him. Being a criminal detective, Alec had gathered a lot of enemies over the years. He was sure that he was on the hit list of at least twenty people. Could it be one of them seeking revenge? Any other time, Alec wouldn’t have freaked out so bad. He would have calmly and easily thought this through and dealt with the situation. It was his job after all.

But he had Magnus in his bedroom. Vulnerable and unprotected. Unadulterated fear shot through him at the thought and his mind went numb for a moment. He couldn’t let anything happen to Magnus. He was pretty sure he would die before he let anyone come even close to him. After he killed the person dumb enough to attempt it.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by another ring of the doorbell.

“Alec! Open up.” A voice yelled from outside.

Alec slumped in relief as he heard the familiar tone. All his fear faded to be quickly replaced by slight anger and frustration. He slammed the bowl on the countertop and quickly strode towards the door. He opened the door and sent one of his harsh glares at the person standing.

“Izzy!” He hissed. “What the hell?”

Isabelle Lightwood stood tall in the doorway, her own expression reflecting her brother’s. She stood with her hands folded in front of her chest, eyes glaring right into his.

“Finally.” She bit out. “I was starting to think you were dead.”

“What are you talking about?” Alec demanded.

“I have been trying to contact you since yesterday morning.” Izzy said taking a step towards him. “Where the hell have you been?”

Alec frowned, thinking back to the last day. He cursed internally as he remembered the messages and miss calls he had missed from his sister. He had planned to call her back but with everything that had happened with Magnus, he had completely forgotten.

“I was busy.” Alec said. “I saw your calls. I was going to message you in a while.” He smoothly lied.

Izzy rolled her eyes, “Yeah. Right.” She pushed at his chest. “Let me in.”

Alec didn’t budge. “This is not a good time Iz. I will call you later. We can meet and discuss whatever it is you want to.”

Izzy narrowed her eyes. “This can’t wait, Alec. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t important. You know that.”

Alec bit the inside of his cheek. He knew that already. His family knew that he didn’t like having anyone over at his house. And they respected that. To an extent. “Damnit. What is it?”

Izzy sighed, “Who do you have in there?”

“Just someone I spent the night with.” Alec said shortly.

“The guy, right?” Izzy asked.

Alec waited a beat. “Yes.” He said. There was no use hiding. He had already told her as much the last time they met. “He is sleeping.”

“I am sorry, Alec.” Izzy said earnestly. “I wish this could wait. But…the last thing I want to do is tell you this.”

Alec frowned as he saw his ever composed sister turn nervous and jittery. It almost never happened. This expression was reserved only for very bad news. He was pretty sure he didn’t want to hear it. He gentle gripped his sister’s arm and looked at her. “Come on in.” he said softly. “You can-“

“Isabelle?” A voice called out from behind him.

Magnus stood in the bedroom doorway, looking like he had just gotten out of bed which he probably had. He was wearing one of Alec’s t-shirt that was too huge for him. Any other time Alec would have found it adorable and sexy, but at the moment his mind was occupied by the familiar surprised expression on his face.

“Magnus?” His sister replied in an equally surprised tone.

Alec blinked as he looked between the two of them. “You two…know each other?” he asked slowly fixing a look on Izzy.

“Oh my god.” Magnus whispered in the softest of tones and Alec immediately glanced at him. His face had gone pale and he was now looking at Alec with an unrecognizable expression. “Oh god.” He continued.

“Magnus?” Alec asked. He started to take a step towards him.

“Lightwood.” Magnus murmured. “I can’t believe it. How…how could I...” His voice shook and he looked positively devastated.

Alec felt the familiar twinge of worry he had associated with Magnus and he stepped further, wanting to touch him and remove that expression from his face.

“You are Robert Lightwood’s son.” Magnus continued in a disbelieving tone.

Alec flinched as he heard the name and he felt the familiar anger rise in him at the mere mention. He felt his sister move closer to him. But it didn’t matter. Right now he was only concerned about the torrent of emotions going through Magnus’s face. None of them good.

“Magnus…” Alec said slowly, taking another step forward.

“Don’t!” Magnus suddenly yelled, pointing a finger at him. In a blink of an eye, his face transformed into an angry sneer, eyes glaring harshly across at him. “Don’t come near me, you bastard.”

Shocked, Alec could nothing but freeze on the spot. He had seen almost all kinds of emotions on his face but this side was something he had yet to watch. And the worst thing was that it was directed at him.

“Magnus. It’s not what you think.” Izzy said slowly.

Magnus didn’t seem to hear her. He focused his glare on Alec. “I should have known the first time you told me your name. I should have known the first time I _saw_ you.”

“What are you talking about?” Alec asked faintly.  He tried to think back to the last few days and determine what he must have done wrong to have that kind of anger directed at him.

“I am so stupid.” He continued, looking away. His hands shook at his sides. “I just _let_ you…” he whispered.

“I don’t understand.” Alec said a little helplessly. “Talk to me.”

“Don’t act so fucking clueless.” Magnus snapped. He clenched his fists tightly. “All these days…I really thought you _wanted_ me. I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

“Magnus please.” Izzy said. “You need to hear us out.”

“No. _No_.” Magnus muttered. He looked away, his chest heaving. “I have t-to go. I can’t…”

He started to blindly walk towards them. For a spilt second Alec thought he was coming to him but then he realized the door was behind him. Magnus was going to leave. In only a T-shirt that barely covered his crotch and with that damned broken expression on his face.

Alec quickly stepped in front of him, hands coming up but not touching him. “Magnus stop. You are not going anywhere.” He said firmly.

“You can’t tell me what to do. Not anymore.” Magnus glared up at him. Up close he could see the faint shine in his eyes and it hurt more than the wrathful words he had thrown at him.

“You need to talk to me.” Alec said undeterred.

“Like you did with me?” Magnus shot back. He swallowed hard. “You Lightwood’s are the same. Fucking assholes. Why can’t you just leave me alone?” he continued loudly.

“What did I _do?_ ” Alec snapped.

“You lied to me! You betrayed me.” Magnus yelled. He bit hard down on his lip, a stark contrast to his tight unyielding face. Alec knew him enough to know that he was hurting deep inside. “You _used_ me…” he continued in a low tone.

Alec recoiled at the words. Before he could think on what he had said, Magnus moved around him.

“No!” Alec bit out and grabbed at him. He tightly gripped his shoulders and turned him around forcefully. “You are _not_ going anywhere until we talk about this.”

Magnus was breathing hard and fast, his face so close his own. He could feel his own breath stutter at the closeness. He wished not for the first time to just press his lips down on his soft ones. He felt like he could kiss him forever.

“Your sick game is over.” Magnus hissed. “We are done here.”

“ _No_. We are not.” Alec whispered harshly, even as his heart stumbled to a halt. “Izzy. Leave.” He ordered his sister who was still standing beside him.

“Alec-“

“I’ll talk to you later.” He cut in firmly. He couldn’t deal with anything besides Magnus right now. There was nothing more important than him.

“Okay.” She said. “Magnus...talk to him. Please.” She continued softly.

The door closed behind her. Magnus started to struggle in his grip. “Let me go, Alec. There is nothing to talk about.”

Alec moved his hand to grip his wrist and tugged him towards the living room.

“Alec-“

“Sit down.” Alec ordered, motioning towards the couch.

“I am not going-“Magnus started, tugging harshly at his hold.

“Please.” Alec bit out.

Magnus closed his eyes and took a breath. “Let go of me first.”

Alec swallowed hard and moved away. He wanted to touch him. Gather him close and kiss him and forget the last five minutes. But he tamped down the urge and watched as Magnus stiffly sat down on the edge of the couch. Like he was ready to bolt in a second.

“I need you to tell me what I did wrong here.”

“ _You_ tell me.” Magnus said fiercely. “Why did you start this thing with me?”

“A relationship.” Alec snapped. He took a deep breath. “I have done nothing without your full consent.”

“You are Robert Lightwood’s son!” Magnus said, gritting his teeth. “You tried to fuck me over. Just like your goddamn dad. And I was blind not to see it.”

“Magnus-“

“That man destroyed my life.” Magnus continued, his face getting red. “I thought I had finally gotten rid him. But _no_. Now he sent his fucking son to destroy me.”

“Wait-“

“I _trusted_ you.” Magnus said slowly, his eyes shining. “I truly did. But I should have known…Nothing good ever happens to me. _Nothing.”_

Alec couldn’t take it anymore. He kneeled in front of Magnus and gripped his shoulders again. “ _Stop_.” He bit out, giving a rough shake. Magnus’ eyes shot to his but before he opened his mouth, Alec cut in firmly. “You need to fucking listen to me now.”

He took a deep breath and softened his tone. As much as he wanted to let loose of the anger that had been building, he had to calmly deal with the situation. He couldn’t lose control. He couldn’t lose Magnus.

“I am Robert Lightwood’s son.” He started. “But I haven’t talked to him for four years now.”

Magnus eyes widened fractionally but he didn’t say anything.

“And as far as I am concerned, he is not my father. He never was.” Alec continued, unbidden memories surfacing up as he talked. “He doesn’t deserve to even be _remotely_ related to me. He is a selfish self-centered bastard who doesn’t hesitate to screw over his own children to get what he wants. I cut all ties with him when he screwed me over. I haven’t talked with the man for over four years now. I _hate_ the fact that I share the same name and blood with him.”

Magnus blinked. His eyes were still shining with unshed tears. “How do I know you are not just saying this to make me believe you? How do I know you are not just like your father who has done nothing but ruin me over and over again?”

Alec closed his eyes and loosened his hold. “How do you know Izzy?” he asked instead.

Magnus took a moment before he answered. “I met her almost six years ago. It was one of Robert’s new industry openings. He _graciously_ invited me under the pretense of collaboration. Not that I was going to accept. By that time he had already shown his true colors. But I didn’t want to cross him unless absolutely necessary so I went.” He stopped for a breath as his hands shook a little on the couch.

“He was acting all nice and sweet with me and for a fucking minute I thought he really had changed. But that was all a ruse to get me and my partner into a bogus deal. He threatened us with his bodyguards when we wouldn’t agree. I thought I was going to _die_ , Alexander. My partner and best friend had to be hospitalized. Robert was ready to _kill_ me for what he wanted.”

Alec sucked in a harsh breath as the words flowed shakily out of Magnus. He had to take a moment to fully realize the magnitude of them. And when it did, blinding rage erupted and he let go of Magnus to smash the glass sitting on the coffetable. He felt Magnus jerk beside him and the thought that maybe he was afraid of him hurt more. He couldn’t help it though. His father was one of the few topics that made him lose control of himself. It was rare for him to feel absolute hate towards anyone like this. But there were two people he did feel that immense hate for. And learning that the man he had started to care for had gone through the same horrible things he had?

Alec really couldn’t help it.

“Alec.” He heard Magnus’ voice, which was soft and calm in a way he hadn’t expected it to be. “Calm down. Please.”

Alec pressed his fingers to his head and closed his eyes. He silently counted down from ten, one of the things he had learned from the therapists which actually helped.

“I am sorry.” He said after he had regained enough control. He looked up at Magnus who was staring at him blankly. Alec searched for fear and disgust he had seen a few minutes ago. But there were none to find.

“Isabelle was the one who came to our rescue and helped us get out of the deal. She was also the one to assist us in charging him to prison.” Magnus continued. Alec had almost forgotten the main thing they had started the discussion. “Not that he stayed for long. But it managed to get him out of our way for a long time. I have known your sister since. We kept in contact on and off over the years.”

“I remember this.” Alec murmured. “I wasn’t there but Iz said something about your case at the time.”

Magnus let out a dry laugh, “How would you know anything? Why would you care if your dear father screwed over a random man you didn’t know?”

“I didn’t know anything because I was in the hospital.” Alec said calmly. “Trying not to die as well.”

Magnus’ gaze immediately shot to his and he flinched. “W-what?” he asked faintly.

“I can’t tell you anything about that. It’s my secret.” Alec said, looking him right in the eye. “But my father hurt me in ways you cannot imagine. And I will never forgive him even the slightest.” he sighed. “Look Magnus…I can’t make you believe me on this. But know this. I haven’t betrayed you. I didn’t start this relationship because I wanted to destroy you. I didn’t even know you before that night.”

“I really want to believe you…” Magnus whispered a little helplessly.

“What we have…it’s something I have never had.” Alec said earnestly. He leaned a little forward but didn’t touch him. “And I don’t want to let it go. I decided years ago that I would not let my father ruin anything for me. So I am asking you…will you trust me again? Trust me to take care of you like I have promised before?”

Magnus took a shaky breath as he leaned forward and placed his hands in Alec’s. “I need to talk to Isabelle first. I trust her. I know you are not lying. I think I do. But I need to be sure.”

Alec immediately nodded. “Of course. I’ll call her for you.” He let go of Magnus’ hands and removed his phone from his pants pocket. He speed dialed 2 before handing the phone to him.

“I’ll be in the bedroom.” He murmured and stood up. He didn’t want to leave Magnus but he needed to give him some space and time. And he would do whatever it takes to keep Magnus in his life.

* * *

Magnus watched as Alec disappeared in the corridor that led to the bedrooms. It hurt to look at him like that. Not confident and powerful. This morning he thought he knew all of Alec’s faces. Turns out he missed out quite a few important ones.

Like him being his worst enemy’s son.

Magnus felt drawn and tired at the moment. His earlier happy glow he had got when he woke up had completely gone. Right now, his mind was numb and exhausted and he didn’t know what he was supposed to think or do.

“Alec? Is everything okay?” A voice cut in his thoughts. Magnus blinked as the slightly familiar voice of Isabelle Lightwood came over the phone. She had looked and sounded the same the last time he had seen her. It had been a few months ago.

“It’s Magnus.” He said quietly.

“Magnus!” Izzy said. “Hi. How are you?”

“I don’t know.” Magnus admitted honestly. Despite the grim circumstances, they had become fast friends. “I am hoping you can clear some of my questions that will sort out this horrible mess.”

“I am so sorry, Magnus. I know this isn’t an ideal situation. I can’t even imagine what you are going through.” Izzy said softly. “But you have to know, Alec is not who you think he is.”

“Right now all I know is that he is Robert’s son.” Magnus said tiredly. “He has been all the time we have been together.”

“Robert may his biological father but he was never his true father.” Izzy said firmly, echoing Alec’s earlier words. “Alec is _nothing_ like him.”

“I want to trust him, Izzy. I really do.” Magnus said.

“You can.” Izzy replied. “Magnus…my brother has gone through a lot of shit in his life. Most of it was from Robert. I can’t talk about it because it’s not my secret. But he has always been a _good_ man. An honorable man.”

“I knew that moment I saw him.” Magnus murmured.

“He is my big brother. I know him. He has always put me and my siblings before him. Heck he puts everyone before himself.” Izzy continued fiercely. “And…I don’t know what you two have. He never shares that with anyone. But I kinda know you and I know him. I can take a wild guess and say that you two care for each other. Don’t let this ruin it. Please.”

_What we have…it’s something I have never had_

Alec’s words from a few minutes ago echoed in his head. It was so true it hurt in a way. Because yes, it was something that Magnus never had before in his life. He may not be ready to face it, but neither was he ready to let go of it.

“Okay.” He said.

“Really?” He could hear Izzy’s smile in the word. “Are you two going to be okay?”

“I think so. I want us to be.” Magnus replied, starting to feel the heavy weight come off him.

“Thank you, Magnus.” Izzy said earnestly. “Call it a sister’s intuition but I think you are going to be what Alec needs in his life.”

Magnus felt an unknown thrill shoot through him at the words. It was a scary thought. He wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“I hope so.” He muttered quickly. “I am going to go talk with him now. He is waiting for me.”

“Okay.” Izzy said. “It was good to see you again, Magnus.”

“You too, Izzy.”

“Take care of him, okay?”

 _I will if he lets me,_ Magnus thought but instead just said, “I will. Goodbye.”

He clicked off the phone and immediately stood up from the couch. He didn’t want to think any more. A small part of his brain was still screaming at him to just get out of the house and never look back. But he kept seeing Alec’s face, kept hearing his voice and feeling his touch.

He had known somewhere in his heart all along that Alec could never be like that. He _knew_ Alec. He may have just met him but he knew what was important.

He quietly entered the bedroom and saw Alec sitting on the bed, his back to him. He could see his stiff posture and he longed to wrap himself around him. But first he needed to talk.

“Hey.” He called out softly.

Alec quickly turned around and his eyes softened as he saw him. “You are still here.” He stated.

“Yes.” Magnus replied moving forward. “Your sister has always been very persuasive.”

He saw a hint of a smile on his face before his expression turned serious and a little cautious. “Are you okay?”

Magnus sighed. “It feels like I have been on a roller-coaster ride since I met you. _Not_ the bad kind.” He quickly said as he saw Alec’s face fall. “Just the…overwhelming kind.”

“I think I know how you feel.” Alec said.

“Look…I don’t care who your father is.” Magnus whispered as he stood in front of him. “I only care about who _you_ are.”

“And who am I?” Alec asked quietly.

“Not your father’s son for starters.” Magnus said with a small smile. “I never really thought you were but the odds were stacked against you. And you are strong and gentle. Confident and caring. You are a good person, Alexander.”

Alec swallowed hard. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.” Magnus replied honestly. “I just…Like I said, it is all very overwhelming. And I can’t…I can’t deal with any more betrayals.” He continued, clenching his fists tightly by his side. He tried to rein in his emotions, but it was hard to do that with Alec. Always had been.

Soft hands gripped his fists and brought them closer. “I will _never_ betray your trust.” Alec said firmly. His face was completely open and earnest and there was not an ounce of lie in his voice.

Magnus felt his knees buckle before he quickly knelt down, his hands still held within Alec’s. “I know.” He said simply.

“Come here.” Alec said roughly and before he can think about it, Magnus was embracing him tightly. He felt Alec’s arms go around him and hold him equally firmly. He pressed his face into the crook of his neck and just breathed in the scent that was pure Alec.

Magnus would have loved to stay like that forever.

“I am so sorry.” Magnus mumbled into his skin. He felt Alec shift and reluctantly he moved back to look at his face.

“For what?” Alec asked, keeping hands around his waist.

“I reacted so badly. I said bad things to you.” Magnus said, biting his lip. “And I didn’t give you a chance. If you hadn’t stopped me then I would have left and never come back.”

“I wouldn’t have let you.” Alec said firmly. “And like I said, I don’t blame you for reacting the way you did. I would have done the same thing.” He waited a beat and then continued, “But the fact remains that you still didn’t just _talk_ to me. I told you from the beginning that you needed to talk to me. About everything and anything. Especially if it concerns our relationship.”

“I know.” Magnus said ducking his head. “I just didn’t trust you at that moment.”

“That’s the only reason I am not going to punish you.” Alec said calmly. “You are important to me, Magnus. This relationship is important to me. I won’t take kindly to anyone jeopardizing it. Not even _you_.”

Magnus’ breath hitched at the words. All of a sudden he was filled with shame and regret. He knew that he had been right in his judgments. Even Alec had told him so. But he was also right about him almost breaking off their relationship on an untrue reason. The road is not always smooth. They had to fight for it.

Magnus hadn’t.

“You should.” He whispered looking at Alec.

“What?” Alec asked.

“You should punish me.” Magnus said, nails digging into his palms.

“No.” Alec said firmly. “I told you, I understand what position you were in. You don’t deserve a punishment for that.”

“But I _do_.” Magnus whispered. “I was going to walk away, Alec. Even though I knew somewhere deep inside of me that you couldn’t be like that, I was just going to leave and never come back.”

“You are thinking too much about this.” Alec started.

“This relationship is important to me too.” Magnus cut in. “But today I almost lost it. And that is all on me. I don’t want this to happen again. Please.”

“Magnus…”

“I need i-it. I don’t know why…but I just _need_ it.”

“It’s not safe right now. You are still recovering from your drop from last night.” Alec said softly, bringing one hand up to cup his cheek.

“It will be okay.” Magnus said earnestly. “Because I trust you to take care of me.”

Alec’s eyes widened a little at that and his hand tightened on his face. His eyes bore right into his own and he said slowly, “You do?”

“Yes.” Magnus said without hesitation. “I can’t doubt that. Never that.”

Alec leaned forward and pressed his lips on his forehead. Magnus felt his throat close up at the tender touch and he finally felt the peace and calm from that morning come back. He would still need to sort through the issue of the whole parentage thing, but he had what mattered the most now.

“How are you feeling?” Alec asked, moving back. “Physically?”

Magnus heard the slight familiar change in his tone. “I am okay. I had a small headache when I woke up. And my body is a bit sore.”

“You are still going to feel effects of the drop.” Alec said. “I will go easy on you okay?”

“I feel fine. I don’t want you to go easy on me.” Magnus argued, albeit a little shakily.

“You trust me, right?” Alec asked.

“I do.”

Alec pressed another kiss on his forehead. “Can you take the flogger?”

Magnus blinked at the sudden question and felt his heart beat faster. He remembered the feel of the leather straps on his skin. The gentle arousing ones as well as the hard punishing ones. He didn’t have to wonder what how they feel now.

“I’ll take anything you give me.” Magnus said calmly.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Alec said.

“It’s my punishment.” Magnus said. “I told you that night, I don’t want you to stop punishing me when I make mistakes.”

“You didn’t break a rule.” Alec reminded him in a one last attempt.

“I almost broke _us_.” Magnus said, biting his lip. “Please.”

Alec stared steadily at him for a moment with that focused expression on his face. Finally he let out a breath and said in his authoritative tone, “Okay. I’ll be back in a second. I want you to strip and kneel in front of the bed.”

Heart thudding, Magnus nodded and stood up. “Okay.”

He watched as Alec sent one last piercing look towards him and walked out of the room. He let himself give a second to calm his frazzled nerves before removing the only cloth he had been wearing. The t-shirt smelled amazingly of Alec and he had put it on this morning without thinking about it.

As he slowly knelt in front of the bed, Magnus emptied his brain of all the thoughts and emotions of the last hour. From the moment he had seen Isabelle standing in the doorway, the overwhelming feelings of anger and betrayal that had followed. It had been a nightmare. He had never felt that type of heartbreak before. He knew that he still had a way to go before he could fully deal with what happened. But this felt right at the moment. He couldn’t exactly say why but he _needed_ this punishment. It was a disconcerting thought to feel like this and before he had met Alec he would have thought himself to be crazy.

But things had changed ever since that night. Things he didn’t know he liked and wanted. Things he _needed_. And Alec was an integral part of everything.

He had almost lost that part.

Magnus startled as he heard Alec’s footsteps enter. He had been quick. He didn’t look at him, just kept his head down. It was like slipping on a mask. A familiar soothing mask.

Something thudded behind him and same as that night, there was the sound of the zipper. Magnus actually couldn’t wait to feel the cool leather on his skin. It hurt like hell during the punishing strokes but he couldn’t deny the thrill and anticipation of it all.

He jerked a little as he felt Alec’s hand on his back, pushing him forward. He knees brushed the soft carpet on the floor as his upper body was completely pushed on the bed. He shifted a little before he was in as much of a comfortable position he could get considering. His hands caught the sides of the bed and he held on to them unconsciously. A foot nudged in between his knees and he quickly spread them. He was now locked into position with his ass and back out in the open and his semi hard cock agonizingly inches away from any kind of contact. He turned his head to the left side, longing to see Alec. Or even hear his voice.

Because he still hadn’t spoken a word and that hadn’t happened before. He always relied on his touch and his firm voice to hold onto. It was in a way his rock. He waited a beat, unsure if he should do or say anything. He could feel Alec silently standing behind him; he could feel his gaze burning into his skin. He could also make out the flogger in his hand, its straps curling on the ground. With a start he realized it was bigger than the last one. He hadn’t gotten a chance to look closely at it but the difference was striking. This one was comparatively bigger and maybe thicker.

Magnus shivered. “Alec?” He asked slowly.

The flogger whooshed menacingly in the air before coming down harshly across his ass. Magnus felt the air leave his lungs on a painful whimper. He hadn’t forgotten how it felt. But no way did it help him to anticipate the pain of the stroke. It burned like fire. And it hurt more because he hadn’t seen it coming. Alec hadn’t warned him.

Another blow quickly followed before he could even begin to ponder on the change. It fell across the opposite of the first blow and seemed to hurt more. He tightly gripped the bed and breathed in the pain and the fire. It tickled across his skin and seeped inside of him. He desperately wanted Alec to soothe away the fire with his touch. Except during the punishing strokes, he had gently caressed his bruised skin after every lash the other night. It had helped him prepare enough for the next.

But this wasn’t anything like last time. This was a whole new kind of overwhelming. He wanted his touch and he wanted his voice. But all he could feel was the burn of the flogger.

This truly was his punishment. Alec was making him realize what he would have been missing if he hadn’t stopped him today. What he would have lost.

And that was Alec. His touch. His voice. Everything.

Realizing that was a whole new kind of pain. It dug deeper the strokes of the flogger.

An unbidden yell erupted out of him as the fourth one landed on the sensitive skin of his back. He could feel the air of the leather buzz in his ear, its straps licking at his hair on the base of his head. It seemed to cover every part of his back and sent every nerve-end tingling with fire. He closed his eyes as tears dripped down the corner. He was always unable to stop them.

It was a mess of physical and emotional pain. All through that, he was just sure of one thing.

This _was_ what he wanted. What he needed.

The fifth landed harshly on the bottom of his ass, its straps licking every part of the already bruised skin. He couldn’t stop himself from jerking away from the movement, the pain glowing brightly among the already painful tingles. He had realized it the first time he had received his punishment. There really was no limit to the pain.

Magnus could feel his heart pounding loudly in his chest, echoing the thrumming of the pain in his body. He dimly heard the dull thud of the flogger on the floor and sighed internally. Five lashes. Just like last time. But so different.

His chest was heaving with huge breaths and he could feel his nose running in sync with his eyes. It was so hard to breathe like this. But he didn’t move. He waited until Alec _finally_ touched him and said in his gentle voice, “It’s done.”

Magnus could have sobbed if he had the strength. Despite the fact that he had just touched him a few minutes ago, it had felt like forever. He hadn’t realized how much he depended on Alec’s presence around him like that.

Alec gently gripped his arms and coaxed him to move back from the bed. His body protested every move, sending painful tingles all over. He shivered at the sudden cold and before he knew it, he was back in Alec’s arms. They surrounded him and tugged him closer. With his head resting comfortably on his warm chest, Magnus finally relaxed.

“Please don’t ever leave me.” He whispered, without thinking. “I don’t think I can bear that.”

“Neither can I.” Alec whispered back, his voice was close yet sounded faraway.

“I am sorry.” Magnus said, closing his eyes.

“It’s all okay now.” Alec reassured, tightening his arms around him. “I wish I weren’t my father’s son. I wish I could make it easier on you.”

Magnus slowly leaned back from the warmth. He winced at the pain but he needed to see Alec. “You are not your father’s son.” He said firmly. “You are Alexander. I chose _you_. I trust _you_. I am sorry that I didn’t believe you sooner. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“It hurt me to watch you like that.” Alec murmured, caressing at his bare skin. “But it’s okay now.”

“Yes.” Magnus smiled. He moved back into his arms. “It’s all okay now.”

Magnus could feel something shifting in their relationship today. Like he had said, it was a roller coaster ride. He knew they would have their ups and downs. There was so much that he still didn’t know. So much that Alec didn’t know. But they knew what mattered most. They _had_ what mattered the most.

They will be okay.

Damned if Magnus let it be anything other than that.

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Gotta say I was a little unsure about Magnus getting punished. I tried to talk myself out of it but then the words just flew and it all made sense at the end. I just hope it makes sense to you.  
> Your feedback is always greatly appreciated, be it positive or negative.  
> Hope you liked it <3  
> Stay tuned for the next part <3  
> Love you guys <3


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